Leemonster>What Was Meant To Be Said

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What was meant to be said and how it can’t be spoken
by Leemonster

I’m up so late trying to get those thoughts into my mind that usually come up before I go to bed each night.
But when trying so hard it’s impossible and not trying hard enough gets nothing. It was those mysteries of my world that
would get solved and those words I would have said but didn’t the next day.
It was how the day were to go if all those interferences weren’t to block the road I was traveling down.
It was old memories, old friends and even older places that I might run into tomorrow, and the things I would say to all
either enthusiastically or trying to avoid them at all costs.
It was everything as if it were to go perfect with the exception that there is no perfect because all mistakes are to be learnt from, Which shows a great example of right now, not being able to get those thoughts into my mind.
My past life kicking me in the face for all the things I was supposed to have gotten right by now and my future life angry for me putting such a burden on it.
Always showing up early for those places I’m supposed to be, then when I get there I think they had left already. Worrying so much about contradictions because I’m so dedicated to whatever I’m doing at the time, causing me to cross paths with what I’m fighting against.
The stress, the guilt, the worries, the world, all the things I crumble up and throw into a plastic bag and down the waterfalls they go because this is my imagination, and this is my comfort zone. Where I toss and turn trying to get my body to sink into the broken springs. But with the springs jabbing me in the back and all the tossing and turning, it’s still alright, because they’re just apart of the bag floating down the stream and I’m at the top, I’m taking a break, and time is still. I could get up and everything is frozen in place. The sparrow on the ground would be reachable and all traffic would be red lights, be it yellow or green are still lit up. I could pull the masks off the politicians and, hell, I could even unplug the satellites and TV sets across the world. Waves would be still and the only flowing water would be from that very stream with my bag full of problems taking course on it’s way to the ocean.
But I would have to take the clock and make it live again, because as blissful as it would be, life must go on and we can learn from our mistakes… to unmask the evils of the world without having to freeze time, to write down all that you wanted to say before you shut your eyes to sleep, and maybe even more. To get the sparrow to trust you enough to be in reach, and for people to live their lives with no cost or time taken out of their day to be afraid. And for me to say what I want to say to those I mean it to with all words unhindered, and no nervousness or remorse for what I had said.. To let those know the true meaning of what I can barely understand when I’m not minutes away from turning in to sleep.

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